Wednesday, February 1, 2012
College Bound - Personal Advocacy
College for my kids has been on my mind lately. This is because a friend and I are hosting a College Bound Conference for students with Asperger’s and assorted learning differences in early March. The story behind the conference is a long story and I’ll save that for another time. In the next few blogs, I want to focus on what I’ve learned through researching colleges and life after high school, and how that applies to changing up goals in my own parenting and IEP’s.
The biggest idea I’ve learned through this process is that once your child has turned 18, he’s essentially responsible for speaking up for himself to get accommodations or other supports in college, on the job, or anywhere, really. My extreme intuitive nature make me a natural parent who hovers and speaks up for her kids, but I’ve learned I can’t always be there. So, I’m making changes personally to try to unplug my hovering nature and let them practice speaking up for themselves. First, I’m encouraging them to answer questions when someone asks them something. I often interpret what they are saying to other people, but I’m going to quit doing that, and let them develop their own way of communicating. Second, I’m going to question them, “Tell me what you need” to get them to practice articulating their needs, whether it be something simple like a drink, to something more difficult to convey, like comfort. Third, I’m going to encourage appropriate interactions where they have to speak up for their needs in the community, like making them order their own food at McDonald’s.
But this concept of personal advocacy doesn’t have to remain at home, it can be reinforced in school. I’m going to make sure at my upcoming IEP sessions that we have more advocacy and life skills goals. Now that we’ve made it through the self calming goals, I want to focus on their understanding that if they are stuck, either emotionally, physically, mentally, or academically, they can ask for help. I want them to be able to articulate what’s wrong, come up with potential solutions or accomodations so they can get themselves unstuck, and remember to say thank you at the end when the solution comes through. When the kids were non-verbal, all I wanted was them to tell me they loved me. In hindsight, it took a lot of building blocks to communication, before I could hear those words. I know in advocacy, it’s the same. But by designing with the end in mind, the school will be able to help me understand those building blocks to advocacy.
To get started in understanding advocacy, I found a nice article in Disability Scoop, and online magazine. There’s lots of short movies on YouTube that explain how self advocacy works in adults and students. Here’s one that’s a cartoon and another that’s a Parent to Parent of Georgia youth. I hope you decide to teach your children, or even yourself, the power to speak up for your needs
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